i love it when TV shows make references to other TV shows
now we just need a show that references Supernatural
You mean like
jesus fucking christ more like the animals disturb you god DAMN
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
Imagine one day coming across vintage fanfiction on your teenager’s phone and recognising it immediately because you wrote the porn your child is trying to hide from you
anyone would be lucky to date me. i was “a pleasure to have in class”
SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.
Now that’s how you get laid boys.
how do i ask a boy out
roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two
OH MY GOD NO
twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car
row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream
I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory
So my friend is flying from JFK to Cali today and look who she saw at the airport
Update: I’m trying to get her to talk to them but she’s too scared. What should she say?
MOTHERFUCKING UPDATE: SHE DID IT, SHE FUCKING DID IT!
LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD
your brother has some kind of super genetics we must use him for breeding purposes